Life on the Road

To a life which is both blissed and melancholied. To a mind, twisted by the best and the worst. To countless possibilities that bring death and rebirth, only to yearn for more.

There's always the desire to drive away... to leave momentarily...to live as if there is no tomorrow. Life on the road is not an escape. Rather, it is what has been aching to get free. Every second, every day, it consumes me. It shouts at my most fragile nerves, it resurfaces at every triggering moment.

I do not know what defines me anymore and how much more this hollow will fuel the drive. What is striking is to realize that I am no longer the person I thought I am, or was. I am a total stranger to myself. I despise and glorify what I see inside. But, then, do I really see inside?

I begin to wonder if this is the life on the road. It is supposed to keep me going, to go free-spirited, unattached and unbroken, yet still lured by that drive which defines this wandering. It should make me a lot more wiser. At the end of the trip, I only see a boy who never learns the tricks of the road.

"To more crazy venture beneath the skies", as my favorite author, Jack Kerouac, puts it. To the way of the Beats, and the passion that burns. But first, I have to be on the road once again, and, as the car heads nowhere along that moonlit, deserted road, I can only wish for the cold winds to take the withered soul away.

Random, Fleeting Moment

Random By J. A. Redoble

I don't have a name,
At least not one you should know.
Spare me the small talk,
Pretense is lost here tonight.
Just savor this moment
In the flickering light.

I don't have a story,
At least not one I can share.
Don't get to know me,
Just give me what I need.
Sate yourself, take your fill,
Consume my greed.

In a random, fleeting moment,
Your body will fill mine,
Your touch will sate me.
And in that one fleeting moment,
Perhaps the emptiness will cave in on its own.

I don't have a reason,
At least not one to be told.
I'm here because in the furnace,
I still am cold.
This is a fleeting tangle
In a meaningless fold.

I don't have regrets,
At least not one you can see.
A simple indulgence
Of this hunger in me.
You are random,
a release for the moment.
One last kiss, leave me now,
End this torment.

One of the songs by Hastang that struck me that night. You can listen to this at http://www.myspace.com/hastang

A Night Spent Undergound

Cebu-based Hastang rocks! That's the reason why we went underground that night at 6 Underground in Makati City.

It was a well-spent reunion of some sorts. I found myself in ecstasy just listening to the music of Hastang band, especially their "Random, Fleeting Moment" song. We danced the night away, laughed with old-buddies, and emerged over ground with a promise of tequila sunrise waiting for us.

Cul De Sac

Sometimes I feel this need... this must.
I wanna drive on the road
to get away from the city,
from this mistake-making fool.