A Man Chooses Suffering

"Unattainability. The most intense joy lies not in the having, but in the desiring. The delight that never fades, the bliss that is eternal, is only yours when what you most desire is just out of your reach. Grasp it, and you've lost it. Pluck the rosebud, and it dies."

"Why love, if loving hurts so much? I have no answers anymore, only the life I've lived. Twice in that life I've been given the choice, as a boy, and as a man. The boy chose safety. The man chooses suffering. The pain, now, is part of the happiness, then. That's the deal."

- From Leonore Fleischer's Shadowlands. The book, it is said, is about CS Lewis' love story.

The Age of Indulgence

After three years of blogging, I have decided to make a new blog site. Deleting my previous blog, i.e., the "exploratory part" of who I turned out to be, was difficult but it was a breather. I'd rather seize the moment dealing with my mature pains now than be ashamed in the hollowness and irony of my youth.

Same nights, new nights. Until the nights become the nights before that of April 13th, I will continue to bask in its utter darkness and howl in the confines of my mind.

I have found indulgence, finally. Will it suffer an abrupt ending or will the melancholy be sustained? It is too early to tell.

 For the meantime, let us blow the horns!